Discussion Questions

My edition of The Help has a readers' guide at the back. I offered to post them once we got a thread for the book, so here goes:

1. Who was your favorite character? Why?

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as Skeeter once she realizes she can't control her. Yet she's a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother and, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter's mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter--and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives Constantine is untenable, and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter's mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

4. How much of a person's character would you say is shaped by the times in which he or she lives?

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter was willing to overlook so many of Stuart's faults so that she could get married, and that it wasn't until he literally got up and walked away that the engagement fell apart?

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent or taught?

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first-century reader, the hair shellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of "beauty" changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what's the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quite grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships in which people of color work for people who are white?

11. What do you think about Minny's pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Milly did for revenge?

1. Who was your favorite character? Why?

Unquestionably Skeeter. She is a misfit who just wants to follow her dreams and be accepted for who she is. I could relate to her a great deal.

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as Skeeter once she realizes she can't control her. Yet she's a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother and, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

Right or wrong, she was acting on what she truly believed. That her beliefs were very wrong didn't change the fact that she believed that way. Having a wrong belief, however terrible, doesn't mean a person's going to be wrong (or bad) in every aspect of their life.

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter's mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter--and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives Constantine is untenable, and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter's mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

I thought she was a sympathetic character. She, too, is a product of her times. And, again, I don't believe having wrong beliefs in one aspect of a person's life makes them a bad person all around. She's very sick, and feels like she needs to provide for her daughter's future before she dies. That Skeeter is an adult and capable of providing for herself is besides the point, that's the way she feels.

4. How much of a person's character would you say is shaped by the times in which he or she lives?

Not all of it, but a great deal of it.

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter was willing to overlook so many of Stuart's faults so that she could get married, and that it wasn't until he literally got up and walked away that the engagement fell apart?

No. Again, she was a product of her times. Can you imagine the pressure on a single person when society decrees that a woman isn't worth much unless she's married?

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?

Definitely. I can't even imagine being a black person in those days. I know I would be boiling over with bitterness and resentment.

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent or taught?

That's a tough call. Mae Mobley idolized her mama, whether her mama cared for her or not, as well as Aibileen. I would guess that deep down Aibileen would have taught her differently, but when she got to an age where she wanted to fit in, she would most likely have followed her mother, whether she really agreed or not. However... Keep in mind the time frame of this story. Civil rights was on the cusp of change. Mae Mobley would have grown up in a different world than we read about in this book. She would have been 52 now. Think about the people you know in that age range and the world they grew up in. Most likely, she would have been at odds with her "old fashioned" mother by the time she reached her teens. And I definitely think racism is taught. If you put a bunch of young children in a room, assuming their role models have never influenced them one way or another, they notice differences, but they're just curious about them, they don't really care.

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first-century reader, the hair shellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of "beauty" changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what's the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?

I'm odd in that I never had patience with "improving" my appearance. (Not that I didn't want to, I just didn't have the patience.) I wanted "big hair" when it was in style, but I never got it. It was too much work. I did have the flipped bangs with long hair, though--it was very flattering and I still like that style.

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quiet grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?

We get into her head and see the way she thinks. Some people, I'm pretty sure you would NOT want to know how they think. However, I'll bet there are many people we would look at in a much kinder light if we could peek inside their mind and understand what they really were thinking and feeling.

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships in which people of color work for people who are white?

I'd say it's more apt to be reverse racism, in which the white boss bends over backwards to be "fair" so they don't get accused of racism, to the extent where the non-white employee may be favored over white employees, so they can prove how nondiscriminatory they are. I'm not saying most bosses are like that, but just the fact that some places have to fill a "quota" of non-white employees would indicate that it exists.

11. What do you think about Minny's pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Milly did for revenge?

No, that's definitely not my style, but I loved it, and it was very much in character for Minny.

1. Who was your favorite character? Why?

Minny is my favorite character. I just love how crass she can be, but have a kind heart at the same time. I just love unruly characters. I especially love when she shows kindness in her own way, but without being obvious about it.

2. What do you think motivated Hilly? On one hand she is terribly cruel to Aibileen and her own help, as well as Skeeter once she realizes she can't control her. Yet she's a wonderful mother. Do you think that one can be a good mother and, at the same time, a deeply flawed person?

I think Hilly just liked to control everyone and everything. If something gets her in way she destroys it. She is a good mother because her children probably mind her.

3. Like Hilly, Skeeter's mother is a prime example of someone deeply flawed yet somewhat sympathetic. She seems to care for Skeeter--and she also seems to have very real feelings for Constantine. Yet the ultimatum she gives Constantine is untenable, and most of her interaction with Skeeter is critical. Do you think Skeeter's mother is a sympathetic or unsympathetic character? Why?

I think her mother just wants what's best for her. She doesn't want her or any part of her family to be unique. She just wants them to fold in line with the rest of the general public's opinion. I think she is mostly unsympathetic, but can be sympathetic at times. I have seen the movie and they portrayed her mother a bit differently. I like her mother on the big screen better. She tells Hilly off in the end, it was great.

4. How much of a person's character would you say is shaped by the times in which he or she lives?

Very much, I couldn't imagine my life without technology, but so many lived without it before my time. I love reading about it though. Especially when electricity if first becoming popular.

5. Did it bother you that Skeeter was willing to overlook so many of Stuart's faults so that she could get married, and that it wasn't until he literally got up and walked away that the engagement fell apart?

I'm not really sure you can call it an engagement. I never liked Stuart, not even in the movie. I think Stuart was looking for something different and a bit more challenging in a women, until he realized it wasn't something he wanted. It did bother me that Skeeter was still willing to be with Stuart, but it was her first love. Can't fault her too much for that.

6. Do you believe that Minny was justified in her distrust of white people?

Yes, I wouldn't have trusted them either and I am white. I hate that we still have racism today. I think it's absolutely ridiculous.

7. Do you think that had Aibileen stayed working for Miss Elizabeth, Mae Mobley would have grown up to be racist like her mother? Do you think racism is inherent or taught?

I think it's taught. I don't think Mae Mobley will grow to be racist even with Aibileen gone. She was a very smart little girl. She understood what was going on even at the tender age of four.

8. From the perspective of a twenty-first-century reader, the hair shellac system that Skeeter undergoes seems ludicrous. Yet women still alter their looks in rather peculiar ways as the definition of "beauty" changes with the times. Looking back on your past, what's the most ridiculous beauty regimen you ever underwent?

Never really undergone any beauty regimen before. I've only done the basic stuff like hygiene and painting my nails. My niece is black and has beautiful curly hair, but she wants straight hair. So my sister went out and bought an at home relaxing kit for her. They spent over 5 hours doing it.

9. The author manages to paint Aibileen with a quite grace and an aura of wisdom about her. How do you think she does this?

The author lived in those times. She knew several black women in this time period. I'm sure she took a mixture of several women and put them into a couple of characters in the book. It actually sounds like Minny is a dramatized version of her own maid.

10. Do you think there are still vestiges of racism in relationships in which people of color work for people who are white?

I'm assuming so, but not as prominent was then. I mean they're still battles of the sexes going on today as well.

11. What do you think about Minny's pie for Miss Hilly? Would you have gone as far as Milly did for revenge?

No, but I loved it!